Re: More than just gas relief | Shout out to physicists
In response to my colleague’s insightful post, I’d like to add a few additional thoughts on the potential benefits of a worldwide de-whaling campaign.
An average Blue Whale is around 88-98 ft (27-30 m) long and weighs around 175 tons (156 tonnes). Conservative estimates indicate there are around 7500 left. I’d like to invite any of the numerous mathematicians and physicists who daily check this site (of which there are, quite literally, thousands) to calculate and post in the comment section the total volume represented by that species alone. More on that in a moment.
Lately, a number of scientists of questionable repute have suggested the planet might be warming. Should this laughable scenario ever come to pass, the fear is that the enormous amount of fresh water forever locked in our polar ice caps will be released through a dramatic series of events resembling something like this, or possibly this. Unfortunately, because of the considerable influence wielded by this rogue minority, most things involving “nature” have to be run by them, and they’re known to emotionally hold on to relics of the past, like whales, and trees.
Now consider this. Given how strongly this theory is held by this elitest group of pressed white lab coats, we could offer a compromise. We’ll tolerate this “global increasing of warmth” theory, and in preparation for it, they’ll help us wipe clean the oceans of all those lazy volume-wasting mammals called whales, thus significantly reducing the overall sea level to make room for all that chilly fresh water from the north. And if we’re lucky, we just might have time for a worldwide beach party before it happens.
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